December 2010
44 posts
1 tag
At Work This Happened:
Me: [to everyone all day forever] Do you need a bag?
Customer: [most of them] Yes
Me: [as is protocol] They're a penny, is that alright?
Customer: Yes/No.
This Guy: [after buying a lot of magazines] Ha ha, no, I can't afford one!
Me: ...
This Guy: Ha ha ha!
Me: [yawned in his face]
This Guy: Tee hee hee.
Dec 31st
1 tag
At Work This Happened:
A man accused me of stealing his glove.  One singular glove.
Dec 31st
2 tags
Dec 30th
Dec 30th
9 notes
Dec 28th
56 notes
3 tags
Dec 28th
1 tag
Making Fun in the Stationery Store pt. 2
Lady: A red Christmas next year
Dad: No glitter?
Lady: No more glitter *wry laughter* It's still in the carpet.
Dad: And me! Every time I have a bath *descends into grumble*
Me: That's just your inner princess trying to get out.
Lady: *laughs loud and long*
Dec 28th
1 tag
Making Fun in the Stationery Store pt. 1
Mother: Can I have a bag, please?
Me: They're a penny, is that alright?
Mother: Yes.
Kid: I bet you have to ask that to everyone.
Me: Yes, a hundred times a day, even in my sleep.
Kid: Ha ha
Dec 28th
2 tags
Dec 27th
“Quarantine dollface, you know I wanna be at least vaguely clean for you”
– text message
Dec 27th
My Evening This Evening:
In bed Graham Greene anthology Sweatpants and hockey jersey Brand New Typewriter Angler fish Squids.  I fucking hate squids but I can’t stop.  Perfect. Tea Microwaved custard
Dec 27th
1 tag
Dec 24th
3,045 notes
Dear Coke Talk: On christmas spirit. →
Yes, ma’am!  I won’t even be drunk this Christmas. dearcoketalk: This holiday season is killing me. For some reason, this year the Christmas lights and the shoppers and the music are bothering me more than they ever have. I told my mom I didn’t like Christmas anymore and she just started crying, so I can’t realistically renounce the holiday… Do I…
Dec 24th
186 notes
1 tag
Dec 24th
1 tag
Dec 23rd
3 tags
Dec 22nd
2 notes
Dec 22nd
30,156 notes
Dec 22nd
11,599 notes
Dec 22nd
756 notes
1 tag
Dec 21st
3 tags
At Work This Happened:
[A woman stomps into a high street stationery store and cuts the line]
Her: You over charged me.
Me: [not recognising her at all] Huh?
Her: You over charged me. Look at this receipt. [She shoves it in my face, too close]
Me: OK then. [Sometimes the till hasn't been updated to match the promotional posters and I don't notice and/or care] Cigarettes..?
Her: You over charged me on those cigarettes.
Me: Umm... [turning around to check the price on the receipt with the price on the sticker] No, these match. You weren't over charged, this is correct. [I hand the receipt back]
Her: That's outrageous.
Me: ...
Her: They're a pound cheaper in Asda.
Me: ... [I'm not allowed to yell at customers but I'm pretty sure my raised eyebrow/smirk combo is saying 'colour me not interested, bitch'] [The man behind her, who she cut in front of, slides his magazine onto the counter. I go to take it]
Her: This is outrageous!
Colleague: [To me] What's the problem here?
Her: These cigarettes are cheaper in Asda!
Colleague: ... Right?
Her: ... They're cheaper in Asda. You can't charge this much, it's not allowed! Look at this receipt! That girl sold them to me just half an hour ago!
Colleague: That's the correct price, madam.
Her: They're cheaper in Asda, how can you do this? Is it legal?
Colleague: Er, yes?
Her: I can't believe it. I can't believe it! [She leave the store shaking her head] [Magazine Man is shaking his head in a bemused manner]
Me: The Subtotal.
Magazine Man: [accusingly] How did you work that out?
Me: *running down the prices for everything* and the receipt will be itemised if you want to check later on as well.
Magazine Man: This must be the most expensive wrapping paper in town!
[pause]
Me: The Subtotal Amount, please.
My Eyebrow and Clenched Jaw: Shut the fuck up and get out of my life.
Dec 21st
1 tag
Dec 17th
Dec 17th
2,382 notes
Dec 15th
734 notes
Dec 15th
1 tag
Dec 15th
89 notes
2 tags
Dec 14th
2 tags
At Work This Happened:
Customer: [standing in front of the celebrity autobiography stand] Can you recommend any of these books? Have you read any?
Me: Of those ones specifically?
Customer: Yeah, the autobiographies, the celebrity ones.
Me: Well... [floundering, I haven't read any of them.]
Customer: [interrupting, but that's fine, I had nothing to say anyway] What was the last autobiography you read?
Me: Surely You Must Be Joking, Mr Feynman.
Customer: Who is that one by?
Me: Richard Feynman.
Customer: Who's he?
Me: He was a scientist, he won the Nobel prize for physics. He's dead now.
Customer: Oh, well, I'll go with the Katie Price one then.
Dec 14th
OK so I really must unearth my sister’s sewing machine at some point.
Dec 14th
1 tag
Dec 14th
1 tag
Dec 14th
1 tag
Dec 14th
1 tag
Dec 14th
2 tags
Dec 11th
3,650 notes
2 tags
Dec 9th
Dec 9th
287 notes
Toronto: The City That Keeps on Giving.
I wrote this article about how great I think Toronto is and it is totally published on a real website. Instead of being paid in money, I am compensated with free nights in a hostel of my choice in Europe, which is really super and convenient, seeing as I’m back there now!  How freakin’ cool is my life? So cool, that’s how cool.
Dec 8th
1 tag
Today My Customers Were...
… idiots. I seriously hope that I’m not that stupid when I go to stores. At least in bars they’re drunk and I can swear back at them.  I don’t like working in retail.
Dec 4th
5 tags
Dec 2nd
4 tags
Dec 2nd
2 tags
Dec 2nd
3 tags
Dec 2nd
2 tags
Dec 1st
1 tag
Dec 1st